Happy Birthday my sweet Juliana!
Sometimes I cant believe it has been a year and other times I can remember every painful detail. It has been a year since my heart was shattered in a million pieces. Over the past year I have felt the most unimaginable pain and also love. I have learned so much. If you would have told me a year ago that I would make it through this past year I wouldn't have believed you. It was a definite struggle. Joey has been my light. He is always there when I need him - to pick me up, dust me off, and drag me out. My parents have never wavered in their support. Every week they would drop what they were doing in their really busy lives and spend the night with Joey and I. Those dinners did so much for our healing. My friends (online and IRL) who never let me say NO. Who did things anyways. Who never stopped calling or emailing to check on me. Wow how blessed we are. I couldn't have made it without all of those special people. Oh and I cant forget my special angel who never ceases to remind us that she is here with us. I cherish all of those special times when Juliana makes her presence known. It is like a calm comes over Joey and I. It is wonderful and amazing just like Juliana.
To my sweet Juliana,
It has been a year since we held you in your arms. January 12 is always going to be a special day for us we decided because that is the day we got to hold you and spend a few glorious hours with you. I can still remember your beautiful little lips and cute little face. I wanted you to know how many people's lives you have touched. Not only have you worked miracles. Joshua is proof of that. But also bringing Auntie Lena and Uncle Larry back into your Daddy and my lives was one of the most special miracles. You helped your Daddy more than you will ever know! Can you believe how a like they are? You have touched peoples hearts in places as far away as Australia, California, Texas, Indiana, Canada, and the list goes on and on. They will always remember you Juliana. You are a very special little girl.
Today Daddy and Mommy planned a little birthday celebration for you. All your aunts and uncles will be here and your grandparents. Oh and little Dash too. We are going to the cemetery to send balloons up to you and place roses on your grave. Mommy and Daddy worked really hard on your butterfly cake we hope everyone likes it. I hope our love surrounds you today as you get ready for your big birthday celebration up in heaven. Know that you are missed and loved so much! You will always be our special little girl. We love and miss you so much!
Love, Mommy
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5 comments:
Kristen-my heart is breaking for you and Joey all over again as I know this day is painful...and yet you seem different today. Like maybe you've found a light at the end of the darkest tunnel there could ever be. I can only imagine your pain and yet, I also imagine that you'd never take it back because then you wouldn't have known Juliana. I hope that one day the joy of having known her will overshadow the pain of losing her...much love...Cara
Tears, Kristen. Just tears. I hope you have a wonderful day with your family today celebrating the light that is Juliana.
Sending you one giant hug today!
Just wanted to say I am thinking of you all......
Hey sweetie. You, Juliana & Joey are all in my prayers this weekend, as always. I can't even imagine all the emotions that you are feeling right now. I tried to visualize Juliana up in heaven having a birthday party with all of her other angel friends. I am sure she has grown a beautiful set of wings that sparkle all the brighter because you are her Mommy.
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