December 8th 2007

Juliana,
Well I am sitting here alone in front of our half decorated Christmas tree and thinking about how I cant believe it has been a year since I sat here with you. I remember December 8th 2006 like it was yesterday. You and I sat here all day and you gave me birthday kicks and then everyone came over for cake to celebrate. It was a happy day. If only Mommy could turn back the clock maybe things could be different. This isn't how I imagined December 8th 2007 to be. I thought you would be here smiling and crawling all over me. All I wanted last year for my birthday was you. I know you are with me I felt you there last night while I was in your room. I felt you dry my tears and calm my sobbing. Mommy hasn't been doing that well. I miss you so much. I don't know how I am going to get through the next month until your birthday. Most days I don't think I have the strength. Most days I sit and cry on the couch, in your room, or at the cemetery. I know I have to take care of myself for your little brother or sister but I am having a hard time doing that. I just want to know how I am supposed to live my life without you? How am I supposed to get through the day without seeing your beautiful face? How am I going to get through years of Christmas's missing you? I guess that is why you sent me this new little miracle. You are so special to me. You always will be. Mommy loves you so much!! I miss you my sweet angel.
Love, Mommy